Don’t Ask Kids What They Want To Be When They Grow Up. Ask Them What Problems They Want To Solve.

Many of us grew up getting asked what we want to be. That’s a dumb question today.

In Singapore, well-meaning relatives would ask me as a kid if I wanted to grow up to become a doctor or lawyer or banker. I wonder what they would say if they found out I spend my days writing essays for social media. Many parents still ask their child the same question today.

How will kids know what they want to be when they grow up if 65% of them will work in jobs that don’t yet exist today?

Asking kids what they want to be when they grow up makes them think they can only be one thing.

The days when you study from ages 6 to 20 and spend the next forty years in a single career are long gone. People have multiple careers these days. Take me as an example. I went from management consultant to frozen yoghurt entrepreneur to design school principal to angel investor to coding school owner to fashion entrepreneur to edtech entrepreneur to struggling online writer. I’m not even 40.

I suppose I can say I am an entrepreneur.

But I prefer to tell people my purpose is to reimagine learning.

Helping kids learn better is my north star. It’s what drives me. It’s the change I want to see in the world. A few friends have told me they envy my sense of purpose. Especially when they are feeling lost about what to do with their lives.

Finding your purpose is a process of discovery, but there are ways parents can help.

Start by asking your child what problem they want to solve.

Purpose is about the change you want to see in the world. For me, it’s about helping kids discover their passions and equipping them with the skills to pursue whatever they want in life. In my cohort of Obama Leaders, I’ve met folks who want to end the use of nuclear weapons, folks who are fighting for LGBT rights, folks who are working on mental health issues.

The world we live in is full of beauty, but it is also full of problems.

But let your child know their purpose doesn’t need to be about a humanity problem.

Be mindful of framing the question in a way your child thinks they need to solve a global challenge humanity is facing. There are problems in arts and culture too. Indigenous languages that are on the verge of being lost forever. Formulaic movie scripts that churn out Hollywood blockbusters. Pop art gone too far.

My final piece of advice is to give your child the time and space to discover the things they love to do. That will go a long way towards figuring out what problem(s) they want to solve.